Funny Quotes of the Day

Jan 7, 2013
 "This music is not repulsive. It's very soothing. And it's called heavy metal by the way." - V.T.

Jan 8, 2013
 "No honey I love you because you're an idiot. You make me feel like a genius." - Lady Rainicorn

Jan 9, 2013
Grandma- "If I had known that drink was yours I would have taken it and drank it."
 Dad- "That's ok.  That's why I am looking for something to throw at you."

Jan 12, 2013
Dr. Oz- "So what problems do you experience when you're hungry?"
Woman- "Usually my stomach growls. It's very loud and embarassing, because everyone knows I'm hungry.
                The only way I can get it to stop is to eat something."
Me- "Yeah lady, that's what usually happens when your hungry. Your stomach gowls until you eat                                                     something. Now I feel like I just wasted 5 minutes of my life. Thanks Oz"

Jan 24, 2013
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said, " pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked
it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."